It was time, my first OBGYN appointment. I took a day off of work and decided to make a day of this appointment. I asked my mom to go with me in case there were questions I forgot to ask. As of the date in April, I still had not had a period since December. By this time I swore off home pregnancy tests and decided that the pregnancy test market was just trying to rip me off. My mom and I had a nice lunch before my appointment. We drove to Sky Ridge Medical Center where my OBGYN was located, and I was nervous and excited. I won’t lie to you…deep down inside I thought maybe this doctor was going to tell me that we were expecting. Maybe the fears of Mike and I having fertility problems was just all in my head. I hoped that would be the case. It was just a fear.
When we arrived to the doctor’s office I did the paperwork and checked in. I sat in the waiting room with my mom and we just talked about how much fun it was going to be once I got pregnant. They called my name after about ten minutes of waiting. We went on back. The nurse asked me about why I was there. I stated that my husband and I were trying to get pregnant and had been unsuccessful. I told the nurse that understood that it takes about a year to conceive and we had only been trying for about eight months at the time of this appointment, but my periods were irregular and that is what was concerning me. I must state that I was super prepared for this appointment, like I am with everything else in my life. I had my cycle lengths typed up, the last two years of exams and blood work from my PCP for the OBGYN. The nurse was very impressed.
So the nurse asked me if I was pregnant. I looked at her and told her that I didn’t take pregnancy tests anyone so I wasn’t sure. She handed me a cup and showed me where the rest room was. I returned to the exam room and my mom and I continued to talk about the future. The nurse returned and said “Sorry honey you’re not pregnant.” Tears immediately filled my eyes and I just started to cry. The nurse came over and gave me a hug. I so badly wanted that test to be positive and I could walk out of there feeling better, but that wasn’t the plan. My mom got up and hugged me to. The doctor came in and hugged me as well. It was hugs all around. She stated that she would have me pregnant soon…she promised. The doctor was great. She went over how the women’s body works and the tests that she wanted to run. She also wanted Mike to do one test as well (I will get to that one later ). She told me that CCRM (Colorado Clinic for Reproductive Medicine) is the best fertility specialists in Colorado and if she couldn’t help me they could. She sent me on my way with marching orders for blood tests and prenatal pills. She told me to she would call me with the test results soon.
The next few days would be a waiting game. I was on the edge of my seat waiting to know what was going on with my body. The doctor finally called me and stated that she believed that I had PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). She stated that it is a syndrome that doesn’t allow you to ovulate. She suggested that I call CCRM. I am thinking great. I do have fertility issues. I decided not to jump the gun and to wait to hear back on Mike’s tests results before I made any phone calls.
Mike had to do a test where they check is little swimmer count. My husband is such a trooper and did the test despite the embarrassment or how uncomfortable the test would be. I won’t get into test details…so if you want to know what the sperm test is….there is a little search engine called Google. I am sure Google can inform you of the testing procedure. Anyways, Mike called me on a Friday afternoon and said that he wanted to talk to me about his test results. He didn’t want me to freak out so he told me that everything looked really good except for his morphology rate. Only 1% of his swimmers morphed into working swimmers. The rest either had two heads, two tails, or just a head or just a tail. He stated that the doctor didn’t know why, but this was common in a lot of males. She stated that we better call CCRM if we wanted to conceive. When Mike told me this, I can’t explain how I felt. I got the answers that I requested, just not the ones that I wanted. I was devastated. Not only did I have a fertility issue, but Mike did to. I felt like someone put a knife in my heart. The one thing I wanted was going to be the one thing I couldn’t have. A baby for us might not be a possibility. I was numb to the world and angry.
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